Today I’ve been having a down day. Depression doesn’t care that I’m a mom and that I have things to do. I have to wash clothes, come up with questions for an interview, play with baby Jade, pick up my son from school, wash dishes, and the list goes on. Will I get half that done? No! All I want to do is lay around the house all day and dream of a day when depression is no longer a factor. Dream of having more good days than bad days.
Being a stay at home mom is hard work. I can’t say that I love it all the time. I can’t say that sometimes I want to cry. There’s a lot to be done and I have to show up no matter how I feel. Now my hubby wants more kids. How can I have more kids when I barely get by with the two I have right now. It’s complete madness!
I take 3 different types of medication for depression, but some days I feel off. I’m thankful for the medication because me without medication is an ugly sight. At least now I can manage life a little bit better on medication. Before I would hide away in my room and shut everyone out. Now I can muster enough energy to actually try to get things done.
There’s a book that I have been trying to read, but keep forgetting to pick it up. It’s called, “Unfuck Yourself: Get out of Your Head and into Your Life“. I want to be able to control my thoughts and not let them bring me down. I have a big issue with getting stuck in my own head and not allowing myself to live a positive life. The thing that I do the most is to be hard on myself for having a moment of hurt and pain. I have to realize that we all have bad days sometimes and that’s okay. I can have a bad day, but I don’t have to live in that pain. I don’t have to stay in that pain. I can find a brighter solution.Tell me about your daily struggles.